Natalia Neykova from Bulgaria

 

I must have been really juvenile, mentally speaking. All of 22, thinking I had seen much of the world when I really hadn’t. I experienced my little share of life and thought it was a lot. A couple of years over a whole decade today, me looking back, I think I was silly, reckless, innocent even and, of course, somewhat stupid. Maybe quite stupid. I guess absolute calmness and wisdom came to me slowly. With age. At that time, when I had taken the bold decision to move abroad for further studies, I needed to find a link, a genuine friend who could help me break some ice in the new city and support my transition to comfort from newness. Natalia Neykova from Bulgaria was the one.

She was much older than me. By ten years, if I remember correctly. I found her rummaging through the sheets on the college noticeboard one day. She looked hurried, lost and I was in an extroverted mood those early London days of mine. She had been trying to figure out what time her classes were on and what subjects were hers. Just like me, she too had enrolled for an MBA – and she waited tables in the evening to sustain her life in London. Small talk made us think we could be friends, and why not? Many of her chosen subjects matched mine. This meant we’d end up in a class together often. Yay!

She found it special that I was okay to explore the city on my own. I don’t understand why something that came naturally to me impressed her so much. She asked if she could join me the next time I felt like roaming around. And I said yes! We started hanging out together when we could. She would tell me stories of her time in Bulgaria, her mom, and her brother. Her work crush and her struggles were the highlights. I admired the fact that she carried a knife in her bag for self-defence in case of an untoward occurrence during the late-night hours of her return home. Natalia was living independently in London, working nights, studying during the day – I think all about her was rather impressive. Or maybe we shared a mutual admiration for each other.

One of my first dine-out experiences in London was with Natalia. It was one of those days we were strolling the streets and had no plans to eat out, but it started snowing, and we got hungry. It was a beautiful little restaurant somewhere in Piccadilly. Though tiny, it was a complete treat to the eyes and the tummy! Just one table in the middle - empty for us. Polite servers welcomed us, and Natalia was once happy to be served than her serving. The windows were a view that could be the envy for all. Snowflakes tumbled down the street outside; we watched them fall from inside the warm restaurant. A small candle lit at the centre of our table, and the restaurant was in sepia mode. We ordered some duck curry that I was to be trying for the first time, and Natalia recommended it to be good. I don’t remember what else we ate, but we ended it with some tea that went well with the weather outside. To this day, it remains the best dine-out memory of mine.

My bond with Natalia grew stronger. She used to invite me over to her home for meals or night overs. She used to buy ingredients from an Indian store and cook food painstakingly. She thought it would make me feel closer to home. This one time, she bought me vanilla ice cream and mango pulp for dessert! Another time she baked some beans and potatoes and got her knuckles burnt when she got the tray out of the oven. She was so invested in making me eat well and making me feel well that nothing else mattered.

One morning following our sleepover, her flatmate knocked at the washroom door I was using. He was probably hungover and had to use it urgently. She picked up a fight with him to leave me alone. Another time my gold earring fell off on her bedroom floor. She searched her whole house, found it, and returned it to me in class the next day. When I was house hunting, she offered I could stay at hers for a couple of days without any bother.  Here was this person doing so much for me, loving me wholeheartedly, and helping me selflessly. She did it out of genuine admiration. She did not expect anything out of me. I often wondered what I did to deserve a friend like that. I knew I’d have her as my friend for life. Unfortunately, I didn’t.

Mid-term tests had me scoring a distinction, and Natalia failed her exams. She was struggling to sustain herself in London; waitressing didn’t keep her happy. I knew somewhere in the heart of her heart that she was dejected, perhaps lonely, and there wasn’t much I could do. In front of the same noticeboard where we first met, she told me she was leaving for Bulgaria and that her mom had sorted her life out there. That she didn’t want to continue living on in London as she had failed her tests and couldn’t care less about repeating her MBA year. I tried my best to convince her otherwise, but she didn’t pay any heed to me. Also, I made new friends in class. I had my circle, and I could sense she felt isolated. I promised her I’d love to keep in touch even if she did return to Bulgaria. But she never kept in touch. She had failed, and she didn’t want me anywhere there where she’d be building herself back. I still have a very, very special place in my heart for a very genuine friend I had. I hope she is in a better place wherever she is and maybe gets in touch with me again. I want to tell her how her genuineness went a long way for me. It is hard to find such genuine people in life. I want to tell her that no one does so much for friends as much as she had done for me, that too, for nothing at all.