Chai in the wee hours and pillion-ing around the city of pearls.

Everyone has their own definition of ultimate happiness. I used to think it is travelling for me. Which it is; and reading and writing coming close to it. But sometimes, the ideal definition we have in our mind keeps evolving. The ultimate happiness being the grand finale, and the road to it being a complete joyride too! Why can’t it be so? Why can't we have it all?

I’m not saying that a full-blown, all-out corporate woman will suddenly start finding happiness in farming at some far-flung village. Or that a politically driven head of state would suddenly turn to puppeteering as his sole purpose in life forsaking all other agendas. But, I’m talking about the “happiness shift” if that’s a term.

The finding of joy in something else, than in what was expected. The scope of change that you allow yourself to enjoy when you open yourself to life’s surprises. The fun you have while you’re on the way to experiencing something grander!!! Also adding to it: a twist in the tale of how you had perceived it to be. Why can’t the quest for something great be a process that’s equally great?

For instance, quality time with a partner equals to the fact that you may have romanticized the ideal picture of a getaway with candles, snow, moon, music, roses and what not – everything that the capitalist world keeps drilling in your head. But in reality, something like having chai in the wee hours and bike riding with your spouse can be equally phenomenal.

There’s just something about time well-spent. It can be us doing something totally different from what we had idealized. Also, quality time doesn’t come by with planning. It is unplanned, like a wave of something that you didn’t see coming. Like bumping into a long-lost friend on the train or listening to a forgotten favourite on radio. Quality time is that kind of amazement, life’s gift that unwraps itself.

I had my own share of idealizations. No judgements, but we all do. We want things to be a certain way. But they never are. Because things drive through their own course of finding their way to existence. And that way may not be a trip through your mind! 😊

So as opposed to me imagining my ultimate happiness on a solo trip to France, I am currently finding it in the city of pearls with my hand on the shoulder of the man I love. And in no way does this make me less ambitious to stop my pursuit of ideal happiness. Only this time, I want to be in France someday, “with company”. If not a midnight chai, then soufflé; if not bike rides, then the cab ride along the French Riviera. Love may not be the only thing in life. But it sure is something. And little bits of something string everything together.

Keep enjoying tiny pieces of happiness while you pursue the ultimate, before you take the big bite, enjoy the starters. And most importantly, don’t put undue pressure on the ones you love to make you happy. Being happy is your own responsibility. The ones you love have to merely exist. And as far as quality time goes, it’s fun to be on the pillion. Let life take you on a fun ride while you’re on the way to your destination.



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