Sunday evening at the men's salon.

In my many years of being single I had various experiences with friends who were couples. With time spent alongside duos who were either married or seeing each other, I grew more and more independent in everything I did. Because I irritatingly marvelled at how many things for which girls usually depend on their significant others, can actually be done 'alone', seamlessly. 

Once, in the wee hours of the night I was heading back home from a late night event and a boyfriend in the group insisted that he'd drop me first before he heads all the way to the other direction to drop his girlfriend. Courteous of him, but I said I could travel back alone and save him the trouble. Back then, had I not been single I still wouldn't have bothered my significant other to drop me anywhere if it were out of his way. I guess being single makes you incredibly lethal in terms of independence. And that's the greatest blessing that has come out of my solo days. I've traveled as much as the farthest part of north-east India, solo, thanks to that independence. 

But ironically, the concept of doing things as a duo, not because they can't be done individually, but doing it because you're madly in love - was so alien to me until I fell in love and married my husband.

Independent girls such as me get so defensive when they are presented with  courtesies or when they are offered help, because their entire existence is very used to performing everything, alone. Thankfully,  it's a different kind of empowerment that I enjoy even after my wedding. I still set out solo for so many things. It's amazing to retain your individuality as such. 

But this Sunday evening the tables were turned!!!

I became the courteous man / boyfriend of the relationship. I became the one who had the chance to extend my courtesies. I became naturally willing to invest my time and energy into something that wasn't really mandatory. I got to know what it felt like to be there even when it is not necessary. 

My husband was scheduled for his usual grooming time at the salon and I walked into the plush men's zone with him to simply sit through it patiently. With love brewing all over my heart watching him being kempt-up, I finally understood what it is like to wait, to watch, to do nothing, to be there, to go the extra mile, to love unconditionally, to love in nothingness. And most importantly to be there for someone not because they can't do it alone, but because you wouldn't want them to. 

I wouldn't exchange anything for that one hour of staring into space listening to shady punjabi songs playing on the salon stereo and watching punk, golden-haired, almost malnourished boys work skilfully  on my husband. <3